Monday, July 28, 2008

Stella Awards

(*This is a copied piece, not mine. I thought it was histerical though)

"It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! Forthose unfamiliar with these awards, they are namedafter 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hotcoffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee. Youremember, she took the lid off the coffee and put itbetween her knees while she was driving. Who wouldever think one could get burned doing that, right?That's right; these are awards for the most outlandishlawsuits and verdicts in the U.S . You know, the kindsof cases that make you scratch your head. So keep yourhead scratcher handy.Here are the Stella's for the past year:
7TH PLACE:Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded$80,000 by a jury of her peers after br eaking herAnkle tripping over a toddler who was running inside afurniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the runningtoddler was her own son.

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won$74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ranover his hand with a Honda Accord. T ruman apparentlydidn't notice there was someone at the wheel of thecar when he was trying to steal his neighbor'shubcaps. Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.

5TH PLACE :Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who wasleaving a house he had just burglarized by way of thegarage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automaticgarage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enterthe house because the door connecting the ga r age tothe house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forcedto sit fo r eight, count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dr y dog food, he sued thehomeowner's insurance company claiming undue mentalAnguish.Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company mustpay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.Keep scratching. There are more...

4TH PLACE:Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though thebeagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.Williams did not get as much as he asked for becauseThe jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams hadclimbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedlyshot the dog with a pellet gun.Grrrrr. Scratch, scratch.

3RD PLACE : Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania because ajury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her$113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink andbroke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend30 seconds earlier during an argument. What everhappened to people being responsible for their ownactions?Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two more Stellas to go...

2ND PLACE:Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner ofa night club in a nearby city because she fell fromthe bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying tosneak through the ladies room window to avoid payingthe $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night clubhad to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

1ST PLACE: (May I have a fan fare played on 50 kazoosplease)This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winnerwas Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma,who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, havingdriven on to the freeway, she set the cruise controlat 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go tothe back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway,crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in theowner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set . TheOklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down,$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actuallychanged their manuals as a result of this suit, just incase Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might alsobuy a motor home.

Are we, as a society, getting more stupid? Ya think??!!"


jennifer said...

I have worn out two head scratchers on this post. Jeez Louise it makes you wonder why we are a super power as a nation.

I posted my meme. Come by and prepare to be underwhelmed. One of the answers I came up with because you said you didn't like for your bare feet to touch the floor. I am WAAAAY opposite!!

Take care Leigh!


Jerri junque said...

You are being nice...Stupid is not the word for it. Cases like these should be dismissed and the lawyer and client should have to pay the court cost. Something has to change.

giants fan said...

oh, now those are just wrong.