Friday, February 29, 2008

Men Don't Like Massages From Other Men

In trying to clean up the house a bit yesterday, I came across this blue hand massager. I broke out in laughter when I saw it. For it has the funniest story attached to it. About a year ago my husband decided to order some hats and shirts with his business logo on them to give to customers and for promotional giveaways. He went down to the store to make the purchase where the salesman approached him about considering some other promotional items, one of them being a massager. "A massager?" said Big Daddy, a bit humored at the thought of giving children , who are most of his clients, a massager. "Here let me show you this one." the sales man said. He introduced this blue glass hand that you palm in your own hand and can rub down at work during "stress". It was then that the man asked Big Daddy to stand up so that he could demonstrate on him how it felt and how it was "very relaxing". When Big Daddy began to tell me this story he opened with, "I think I was accosted today". And he went on to tell me in detail what had happened. I laughed until I hurt with every little scene as he painted the picture in my mind. Also coming to mind was the scene from Seinfeld where George is massaged by a male masseuse and leaves him feeling very -uncomfortable.

"Then he told me to put my hands down on the desk, while I was standing." Big Daddy assumed a stance, much like he would be if he were being frisked. I asked him if anyone else was in the store, and he said, "Yes. His wife. She just stood there at the counter looking at us. "Was she laughing?" "No, just looking. I didn't know what to do." "So, What happened?", I asked. "He began rubbing my back up and down, long strokes, like this"....he had the actual massager that had been used in the sales pitch and he began stroking my back. I laughed hysterically, at the thought and the image of my husband straddled on the desk being massaged my another man. "He kept going, Leigh, this went on for 2 minutes. I didn't know what to do. I kept thinking he would stop....then he said, doesn't it feel good on the lower back, and he proceeeded to rub my lower back and then he said, here on your scalp. That's my favorite place". I roared with laughter at my husbands predicament. Then I coughed up the line from Seinfeld, "Did it move?""NO!" Big Daddy insisted, yet laughed at the question, knowing fully well where I had gotten it from. "Then we have nothing to worry about or be ashamed of. "
We laughed for the next week about that. I had him recount the situation to my mother and father, then to his brother. Every time I run across that little blue hand, I think of it having it's way with Big Daddy and how a man can certainly become uncomfortable in some situations. Big Daddy's biggest worry at the time, that another client would walk in the door, and he would know them. And there he would be in that position...trying to explain to both himself and the world how he got there.


Abbey Road -- said...

Relieved that the snap of a rubber glove going on the guys hand was not heard after asking Big Daddy to assume the position! WHEW!

Leigh said...

I know! LOL!