Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Political Correctness

My friend Kym send me this on Politically Correctness. It gave me a chuckle. I hope it gives you one too.
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West Virginians will no longer be referredto as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as"APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS." (in Alabama we are just "Red Necks, so please those states do not take offense..its a joke..please have a sense of humor)
Furthermore . . .

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK." She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
She is not "EASY." She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
She is not a "DUMB BLONDE." She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
She has not "BEEN AROUND." She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
She does not "NAG"! you. She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER." She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

He does not have a "BEER GUT." He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
He is not a "BAD DANCER." He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME." He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
He is not "BALDING." He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS." He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION." (FAVORITE!)
It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants. It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

3 comments:

MissBossyPants said...

"Over-Caucasian" made me laugh so hard.

MissBossyPants said...

The "over caucasian" part made me laugh so hard!

Leigh said...

Glad you could laugh. I worry about offending some. Some people cannot laugh at jokes...