Friday, September 28, 2007

Bury the Hatchett

Even the best of friends don't always get along. Disputes over anything ranging from borrowed possessions to a betrayal of trust can sometimes ignite fury in the best of friends. I personally think I am a nice person and that I have few enemies (But I also know those that have made it well aware to me their feelings). Holding a grudge takes a lot of energy. I know because I have been guilty of holding onto them myself. Forgiveness helps, but that takes a lot of work as well. This I know too, from experience. Personally, what I have actually done is to discuss it with those who are close to me, and by writing down my feelings, giving them a voice and by this it can put closure on the hurt.
I am trying is to develop a new passion that is more powerful than my hurt and anger( and those that try to continue to fuel a fire). Grudges are part of human nature I think. It's a natural way to resolve conflict sometimes. Though the urge to hold a grudge may be apart of human nature, it's far from healthy. Holding a grudge deteriorates a friendship, can be very stressful on the person harboring it, and often will do little or no harm to the person it is aimed at. Grudges can only leave a person feeling irritable and anxious.
Grudges can also contribute to physical stress such as high blood pressure among other serious ailments. Additionally, the Bible tells us to not have revenge on people. To keep help negative stress out of friendships, friends can work on being open about problems and getting rid of grudges. Letting go of a grudge requires confronting the person who wronged you. For some people, learning effective anger management techniques may be necessary. One last key component in letting go of a grudge and holding onto friends and ones own sanity is forgiveness. This doesn't mean that you agree or give-in to the person who caused the hurt. Certainly not. I cannot even say to forget, for by forgetting you do not value the lesson in the action. You can learn from those that hurt you and those that find themselves in a position to condemn. Instead look at the situation in a different way and attempt to understand the other person's intentions. Forgiveness may not even mean that the relationship is healed, but it does mean that you let go of the negative emotions and move on. For goodness sakes, Move on, man! Bitterness eats away at the soul and affects relationships and the attitudes of those you come into contact with, believe it or not. It really isn't worth the effort.

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